No matter which part of the journey you are at now…you need
I have been very blessed with the assistance and guidance I have as I travel along the road to overcome my anxiety.
I’m a mild stammerer, only faced words blockage when I’m super tensed up. I will avoid the words that I thought I couldn’t say and pretended to not know what to say so that the pause can be longer.
Lately, I also learnt some relaxation techniques and positive self-talk to better cope with my anxiety which will inevitably lead to my stuttering.
My relaxation techniques include deep breathing for 10 times and not thinking about what may go wrong. I reminded myself the successes I have while talking and speaking. Soemtimes, it works; sometimes, it doesn’t. But what matter most is I know I tried my best.
Through these 9 years of braving the front, hoping to find a complete recovery, I realised that it is unrealistic to have a complete recovery. 5 relapses took place in a period of 2 months after I have painstakingly built up confidence for 3 months.
A relapse brought me back to ground zero,w ith a plunge that is so painful that I will cry and feel hopeless. (I also realise crying is normal and does help. It lessens my emotional baggages and made me feel more hopeful to restart my battle again.)
I’m blessed to have my fiancee. Yes, she knows I stammer and become anxious most of the times. I’m thankful she accepted me of who I am. She continuously reminded me of my strengths.
She went through the Toastmasters Programme with me. I nervously completed all 10 projects and run 2 workshops to reach CTM (Competent Toastmaster) and CL (Competent Leader) She also encourages me to take up VPM (Vice-President for Membership) for one term. With the help of the whole main committee, the membership rose 200% that year to 69 members.
I’m proud of my achievement because it reaffirms me that despite stuttering, I have done many wonderful things in my life. I’m not so useless and helpless after all.
Despite stuttering, I took up a job in social service sector. No, becuase of stammering, I took up that job. In addition, losing my father at a young age, I feel more for others and I’m determined to use my passion to help others. I need to talk everyday. Yes, I’m scared. However, my supportive colleagues had made my route more meaningful to go through. It is still equally tough because only I can help myself.
In short, there is no shame to stuttering. It is fine to let people know we stutter. If they are empathic and more understanding and patient, it is a bonus. If not, we just move on.
Support is very important. Support from friends, spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, children, parents play a major role in the success of becoming more confident and eventually more fluent. It always feel good to know we are not alone, isn’t it?
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